Moving On...

2 years and 3 months ago I packed my life and moved 800 miles. I didn’t take the time to even think through it fully, I just did it. I’m not spontaneous, I like plans. I had none. The only saving grace was I knew I could come back. I knew if my new ‘home’ didn’t feel right I could come ‘home’. I needed to do this for me. I needed to make it all alone, so I packed.

I don’t think I realized what was happening until Me, Bryce and my packed car crossed the Willamette River as we drove on I-5 through Portland. I remember looking out at the city on my right and the river below, I remember my Mom’s Garmin shouting out directions in the background and I distinctly remember thinking “No, wait. Turn around. I've changed my mind.” I didn’t say it though, I just sat there I couldn’t turn back now. We made it to my new place, an empty two bedroom apartment in the basement of a lovely house. The view from my deck was incredible, the rooms were gigantic, I wondered how I would fill all the space.

Shannon and Dan helped us move my stuff in and the first weekend felt like a vacation. Then, life started. I cried every night for a week. I wondered if this was really the best decision for me. I knew it was. I adjusted. I bought my first couches. I decorated.

I spent more time with Shannon and Dan then they probably liked, but they helped me adjust. I made friends. I lived alone for the first time. I loved it. I loved the space, the late night TV watching – the two episodes of Seinfeld before bed. I worked many late nights, early mornings and all day there. I threw parties, I started to cook. During the summer nights, Billy and I would sit on my porch and drink Coke. Shannon and Dan bought me an ice cream maker, we used it there. We played the piano there and Dan fixed my closet when it fell down from the weight of my clothes. My mom visited there. Deneal and the girls would meet there, get ready there and we’d sit for hours and talk and talk there. We had Easter dinner there. It became home. I had AC, many August afternoons were spent there. It was freezing and year round I worked wrapped in a blanket with a space heater at my feet. I got iced in and snowed in and sometimes it would rain so bad I would just stay in. I ran hills there, because that’s all that was around, I learned to love them. I decorated my first Christmas tree there and left it up for months because it was so pretty. It was my place, for two years it was my home.

Last week I packed my home. Along with getting married, Ben and I decided to move across the river to Washington, closer to his office. I am excited to marry Ben, to live in the cute house with him, I am excited for the change. But when it came time to pack my apartment, the only place I had ever lived in Oregon, I stalled. I couldn’t picture life outside of this place I didn’t know where to start packing and every time I thought of leaving my eyes would fill with tears. With Ben’s help I packed it. With Shannon, Dan, Tim, Deneal and Ben’s help we moved it. With Jody and Ben’s help we cleaned it. Last Friday I walked through it, everything was gone. It was spic and span, just how I found it. I turned it back to the owners. Before I left, I stood there all alone in the place that was once my home. A tear rolled down my cheek as I thought about the memories and the changes I had made there. It seems silly to be so attached to a place that was never really mine, but I will forever be grateful for the person I became there. I will miss my home, my late night TV bed watching, my empty fridge and taking up every closet in the house with my clothes, but it’s time to move on.

I’m glad I didn’t turn around when we originally crossed the Willamette, I am glad I stayed and made a life. Now we’re going back across the river, no Garmin needed. Plus, you’re going to love our new place. Life is changing people.

So I've been thinking...

A couple things have really been on my mind that I need to get out in the open.

First - It was an amazing person who one day thought to him (or her) self, "Hum - I have this peanut butter, I have this chocolate, why don't I magically insert this peanut butter into a perfectly shaped mini cup.  I bet it will be a hit among the people."  And a hit it was Mr. Reese, a HIT. IT.WAS.  I have been living off of frozen (cause everything is better frozen) peanut butter cups and almond M&M's.  This is not a joke.  I am addicted and my stomach hurts. 

Second - Standing while working.  It's my new thing.  For a good three weeks or so I have had this back thing.  Hurts to sit, hurts to move, blah blah blah.  I have decided I sit too much and it's not helping.  Now I stand.  I was a little fidgety at first and found myself looking around and staring at things that needed to be dusted.  But it's getting better, my house is dust free and I am confident this will save my back.  My 50 year old self is already thanking me.

Third - Big calves and leather boots with no zipper do not go well together.  I bought a ridiculously expensive pair of boots.  My practical side got the best of me and I exchanged them for an even BETTER, less expensive pair.  But there is no zipper.  I have big calves.  It's a well known fact.  When I tried them on, I had to pull with all my might to get them on and Ben had to pry them off.  I thought my circulation might get cut off.  Don't fear though - leather stretches!  I am confident if I wear them enough they will stretch to my perfect calf size.  This means I am always wearing them.  Always.  With PJ's, with my robe while I am doing my makeup, I even took a nap in them, and right now in fact with my Nike capris. So cute.  I think it's working, I can get them off myself.

Fourth - Shared keys mean family.  I bought this for our new place.  Completely adorable, right?!

A place to put our keys.  This means we will be a little family and our keys will never be lost. Is this what they call nesting?

Oh my pictures!

I thought engagement pictures would be easy.  Cute outfits, good hair day, perfect setting - easy.  Well, maybe not.  Cute outfits, check.  Good hair day, check.  Perfect setting, check.  What I didn't think about is it is hard to get two people to smile at the camera at the same time without squinty eyes or a forced smile.  Well after two tries, and about 300 pictures we managed to get a few we liked.  Below are a few shots of us being real, those are my faves. There are plenty more.... but I can't give all the fun away!  Enjoy.

This may have been a bad idea....

...That's what my face is saying in this picture.

The Goal - to get us both in the tree for the perfect, we're getting married and look we're in a tree, engagement picture.

 Let's set the stage... Amber has a broken foot. Amber takes off her heels (that she's not supposed to be wearing) and Ben puts her in the tree. To get himself up there with her, Ben has a great idea to run and jump onto a branch and swing himself into the tree. Amber can't move - let's be honest - there is no where to go. She is starting to sweat because she is so nervous, it's 90 degrees and she is holding on for dear life. Ben get's a running start, does an amazing jump and does not swing into the tree.  Where was he going to stand anyway??? Instead he just holds himself like a swinging monkey on the tiny branch and we laugh our heads off.  Priceless.

Let's count this as an engagement picture sneak peek... amazingness to come...

Things I LOVE

....cool summer nights after a week of heat and humidity. The cooler weather is a welcomed surprise!  Who are we kidding the weather in Oregon is always a surprise.

....working from home.  There is something to be said about a commute from your bedroom to your office, working out at lunch and getting dressed in real clothes on an as-needed basis.  :-) 

.... being engaged to the most amazing man I have ever met.  Seriously being engaged rocks, you should try it.  (No sly jokes here please).  He lets me pretend to show him wedding picture ideas on my pretend ipad in hopes that he will agree that having an ipad is necessary for wedding planning.  He sits patiently at paper stores as I decide between chocolate and mocha colored paper.  He asks me what the wedding goal is for the week and completes his part by Monday night.  When I'm near tears cause the perfect plan I had drawn in my head (which I would draw on my ipad if I had one) is crumbling before me he reminds me to breathe and tells me he loves me.  L-O-V-E these crazy moments.

.... grandparents, everyone's grandparents!  These people have the most interesting and amazing stories.  They have a story for everything and it always seems they have been just about everywhere.  Someday I hope to tell these stories too.  Don't take these guys for granted they have so much to teach.

.... hummus.  Honestly I could go through an entire tub of hummus in a day.  I don't know what it is about mashed up beans that is so appealing, but YUM!  I go in phases... Hummus seems to be my fave of July, June was potato salad, May was salsa.  Yeah, I get a little obsessive...

.... writing with Sharpies.  You will never need a pen again once you have written with a fine point Sharpie.  My good friend Erica turned me on to this almost ten years ago and I never looked back.  All the colors and perfect lines... seriously... Sharpies.

We all have stories... this is mine

Here are the things that I have learned, life changes fast, timing is everything and sometimes the very best moments are the ones you didn't plan.

June 15th, I sat on a plane heading for Utah.  Home, to run a relay race. The Wasatch Back, a Ragnar Relay that I say is my favorite race, yet every year I still have to talk myself into 30 hours of exhaustion.  I sat on a plane reading a book and letting my mind wander.  I thought about the race happening in 3 days and wondered why I hadn't flown out earlier, my lungs were going to burn in the altitude.  I thought about my aching back, sitting is the worst, I prayed it would just make it through this weekend.  I thought about Ben.  I knew we were getting married, he had talked with my dad, I wondered how it would all eventually come together.

June 18th -19th, the race was a blast.  The weather was perfect, my back and hip were sustaining the pain and 21 miles seemed to fly by.  As I ran my last leg of 5 miles, more like shuffled at 4am, I was excited my portion was almost over and it was party time here on out.  The end of the race is always the most interesting.  People are sore, they are tired and crabby -  they just really need sleep.  Chris always teases that no matter what he says on the last leg I will disagree with him, because I just want my way.  It's true, and this year was no exception.

When my van of 6 had finished their last legs and passed the trusty slap bracelet on to the remaining 6 on our team, we went to shower.  We had about 5 hours until our 2nd van would finish and it would be time to cross the finish line together.  We hobbled to the high school, grateful that PE is a thing of the past, we walked into the girl's locker room.  We showered, commented on our blood shot sleepless eyes and put on our matching shirts to go meet our team in Park City.

The finish line this year was at The Canyons Ski Resort.  My mom was coming to the finish; I was excited to see her there.  We rode a gondola to the top.  Well, some of my team walked to the top - which was so athletic of them - but I literally didn't think I would make it on foot.  The finish line was a serious party.  There were runners and families and families of runners everywhere!  When I finally met up with my mom much to my surprise my dad was there as well!  I introduced them to my team and they gave us their congratulations.  As we tried to find an open spot to visit my dad decided to go look around at the merchandise for sale.  About 5 minutes later, as we were all telling my mom stories of our last 24 hours, my dad came back.  He walked toward me and said, "I found this guy walking around".  Just then I felt a tap on my shoulder and turned around.  There was Ben!  I couldn't believe it!  My words were filled with AHHHH and WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE??, big smiles and lots of hugs.  We hadn't planned on him coming to the race so he told me he was there to support me and the team.  Surprise! I was so excited to see him, I bought it.  He and I walked around and sat in the sun as I rambled all about how terrible, oh I mean terribly fun :-), the race had been. 

The time finally came for our last runner to come in.  We went to the bottom of the last hill to run the last 10 meters with her so we could all cross the team together.  We ran, hobbled and made our way to the finish line, flip flops and all.  Our team name was announced as we crossed the line and I looked up to see Ben standing there.  The flow of runners is set just right to herd everyone off to the side to get their medal and out of the runner's pit.  I walked over to him and said, "What are you doing? I think this is only for the runners." He asked me to come over to him.  "But I have to get my medal?", I said.   He replied, "Just come here, Amber." He grabbed my hand the MC announcing teams handed him the microphone.   As his free hand slid into his pocket and he got down on one knee my hand immediately went to my forehead and with a huge smile on my face I thought, "it's happening".  It went just as a perfect proposal would go.  He told me he loved me,  he asked me to marry him.  I told him yes, of course.  My friends were crying, my parents were snapping pictures like crazy and the crowd was cheering.  I didn't hear or see any of it.  I just saw Ben, I could only think about one thing, for a few seconds we were the only ones there. 

When we were done hugging and celebrating together, we celebrated with our friends and family, my team and strangers - of course took more pictures. 

Amber...

I love you...

Will you... 

Marry me?

Yes! Of course!    

This is funny cause my feet NO WHERE near touch the ground.

 Team celebration photo!

As I think about it now, I maybe should have known.  My mom was acting a little funny that whole Saturday morning and her place to meet me kept changing.  When I asked Ben why my mom had a photographers camera around her neck that seemed to resemble his and he answered, "I don't know." I maybe should have thought twice, but I am glad I didn't.  I didn't know what was happening until the moment it did and that was perfect!  Soon to be Mrs...

June 26th,  I flew back to Oregon and I reached for my book.  As I opened the pages I thought of the flight to Utah, the last time I touched this book and how much things had changed.  It was now one week after the proposal and 10 days after the original flight home. My mind was now flooded with reception and flower ideas - timing, details and food.  The past few days had been filled with big smiles and long conversations.  I had told my story over and over and over again.  I loved every second of it.  I hadn't planned it like this, I didn't know I would be on this plane home wondering how to host the perfect wedding.  But, I couldn't have planned it better, these moments- my story - have been absolutely perfect.