That's what I love about words

A year and a half ago I put this quote on my blog.  I found it, I loved it and I was amazed how easily I related to it.  Now, every once in a while, I will be going through files on my computer, run across it again and be awed at how true the simple words are.  That's what I love about writing - nothing in this quote is a profound discovery, yet when the words are put together they stir something inside that makes me think.

"A couple of hundred years ago, Benjamin Franklin shared with the world the secret of his success. Never leave that till tomorrow, he said, which you can do today. This is the man who discovered electricity. You think more people would listen to what he had to say. I don't know why we put things off, but if I had to guess, I'd have to say it has a lot to do with fear. Fear of failure, fear of rejection, sometimes the fear is just of making a decision, because what if you're wrong? What if you're making a mistake you can't undo? The early bird catches the worm. A stitch in time saves nine. He who hesitates is lost. We can't pretend we hadn't been told. We've all heard the proverbs, heard the philosophers, heard our grandparents warning us about wasted time, heard the damn poets urging us to seize the day. Still sometimes we have to see for ourselves. We have to make our own mistakes. We have to learn our own lessons. We have to sweep today's possibility under tomorrow's rug until we can't anymore. Until we finally understand for ourselves what Benjamin Franklin really meant. That knowing is better than wondering, that waking is better than sleeping, and even the biggest failure, even the worst, beat the hell out of never trying."  Grey's Anatomy

It makes me hope that I am saying and doing the things that are true to me, because even if I fail, at least I am giving myself an opportunity to try.  And if choose I learn, a failure won't have been in vain because every experience should allow me a chance to grow.

What I really meant to say...

A conversation in my head, the perfect response that didn’t put itself together fast enough, the things I wanted to say, but for some reason just didn’t. This happens to me day after day. Sometimes because I have to be politically correct, sometimes because I don’t want to make another feel bad and sometimes because I am just plain scared if I say what I am really thinking I might get a response I am not prepared for.

To the man who asked for spare change -
When you watched me walk by you I wondered what you were doing. When you asked me for spare change and I gave you the loose dollars in my wallet and wished you well. What I really meant to say is, “Are a couple dollars enough, where are you from, where are you going – what’s your story?” But I didn’t dare, maybe I was scared of what I would hear.

To the person who works (who will remain nameless) -
When you told me you were mad at me because now you would have to work the weekend I said, “I am sorry about that, I know how you feel and it’s a crazy time of year.” What I really meant to say was,” I have worked almost every weekend for the last 4 months. I work at 1am and 3am and then again at 6am.” I don’t feel sorry for you, you have a job, suck it up.

To the really cute girl working in the Anthropologie dressing room -
When you asked me to show you the dress I tried on, you shrieked because you loved it. I know because I loved it too. When I handed you the pile of clothes that didn’t make the cut and turned to walk away with my two items you asked, “are you sure?” I replied, “I wish I could get it all.” What I really meant to say was, “I will take it all! In fact, wrap up one of my size of everything in the store. Why not, right, you only live once I may as well look cute in clothes that are way too expensive!” But, I will keep dreaming.

To the 7-11 man -
You watch me come into your store multiple times per week. I get a vanilla diet coke and you don’t even tell me the total anymore because I would have to be a complete idiot to not have it memorized. You’re very kind and always tell me thank you in your broken English. I say, "thanks and see you later". What I really mean to say is, “The visit to this 7-11 that perfectly mixes the vanilla is this diet coke is a highlight of my day. Better yet, the sunshine in an Oregon winter and a perfect treat. So, NO, thank YOU.” But I don’t, because I would sound insane.

I guess we hold back for a reason, but oh how interesting if I said what I really wanted to say...

Utah in Review...

Oh Utah, you make me crazy and put a smile on my face all at the same time.  I love it here, I'd love to stay, but alas the time has come for me to head back to where my comfy bed and closets full of clothes await.  Since I have been a blogging- slacker in the 38 days (and counting) that I have graced this great state with my presence I provide a Utah in Review.  A few moments, if you will, to remind me why I love it here.

Let us begin.... I have a lot to say. 

I came to Utah earlier than I had ever expected.  It began with 2 of the most important people in my life undergoing some serious surgeries.  I wanted to be here to help, provide my support and probably more than anything ease my mind.  I gladly report that both Grandma and Grandpa are doing very well.  Grandpa has a vein from his leg in his heart and a brand-new pace maker.  Grandma has 2 new stents.  Both are recovering well while trying to take care of each other.  So cute!   Here is Grandma with my Cousin Angie's daughter Keiley.  This little girl has both Grandma and Grandpa - and my Mom - wrapped around her finger.  Who can blame them, really....

Grandma tells me Keiley reminds her of dark curly haired little girl who would sleep right in the middle of them when she had sleepovers and would remind them when she was told what to do that, "she was just a baby."  That little girl was me. 

I spent more than a few hours at BYU football games.  I love the company, but still struggle when it comes to cheering for that team in blue.  I wish them well, I do, but becoming a "fan" does not come easily.  BYU vs.USU.... at this game I almost got hit by a car!  Honestly - he was about 2 inches from me!

And of course, UNLV - which we have talked about previously.  Yes, I was so tired I slept through part of it.  Trust me, it's possible.

Speaking of Vegas, there was much running on this trip.  So much, in fact, that the running shoes haven't found my feet for a few weeks now.  Ha - Laaazzyyyy.... :-)  Ragnar Vegas has been discussed, I must include it in my review however.  So, let's describe this relay in one word - Hot. 

A week after the relay Traci and I headed to Moab for the fall addition of the Moab Half Marathon.  I love Moab, we had a great time. 

We both (unintentionally) brought the EXACT same thing to run in.  Man did we look cool!

Well, in true Moab style my calves started cramping the last 4 miles of the race.  That was the opposite of fun to run through.  Man oh man was I glad when this race was over.  My first stop - the ice guys!

Traci and I have been to Moab 4 times together.  Every time we have been yelled at by the hotel for being too loud.  This time it was quite the opposite.  I found myself yelling at the mean hotel man who wouldn't give us a late checkout so we could shower after the race.  He didn't budge, I tried to be nice, we showered at the local KOA.  Oh Moab...

My dear friend Jacie threw our favorite red head, Heidi, a baby shower to welcome Heidi's baby girl into the world.  Surprise, I was in town and so excited to go!  Jacie made this amazing cake.  Um, hopefully if I am ever on a cake challenge TV show (which I would love to do) Jacie will be on my team!   

I just love these girls.  These are some of my bestest friends from High School, I could tell stories for hours that could incriminate and also tell you how amazing each one of these girls are.  Heidi and Tyler welcomed thier new baby Avery into the world on October 20th.  Congrats guys!

Since we're on the subject of children... One of my other bestest friends, Ashley, who I lived with in college welcomed her second son, Daxton, into the world November 1st.  Ashley and I have such a fun relationship, I really don't know if I would have survived Cedar City without her.  Currently I believe I am psychic... the night before she had little Dax I had a dream she was in labor!  Crazy!  Congrats Ash and Brett!

The Halloween season began with a Witches Night Out.  Linds, Lace, Erin and I went to a fun Halloween play - Witch-a-palooza.  It was at Gardner Village which is always a blast during the holidays!

To continue the Halloween-esk festivities my friend Erica and her darling kids invited me to go to a pumpkin patch with them to pick out the perfect pumkins.  Erica and I have been friends for almost 10 years.  She and I used to work together, and have kept a great relationship ever since.  Erica and her husband Stan have always been so supportive and amazing to me.

 

The kids loved picking out the perfect pumpkin.  At one point we had about 16 pumpkins in the wheel barrow, but we each chose one we couldn't live without! ;-)

What is cuter than 3 kids running around a pumpkin patch thinking they are in heaven?  Not much to be honest.  Thanks for inviting me guys!

Since we are on the subject of Erica, let's talk about her amazing talents.  I think she is hands down the most creative person I have ever met.  You MUST check out Erica and her sister-in-law Lindsay's boutique.  When I realized I would be in town for Halloween, I went on a mad search for a great Halloween costume.  I knew that Erica and Lindsay made tutu's for little girls and I thought, maybe they could make one double the size!  Erica was more than willing to put up with my indecisiveness and they made me the perfect Halloween tutu!  (I decided on black - I could use it for ANY costume).  Camden was more than willing to be my tutu model.

 

Halloween went very well!  The festivites began at Ashley's annual Doughnut Day! 

She and her mom make the yummiest doughnuts and you even get to decorate them yourself with your favorite toppings...

After Doughnut Day, Bryce had a Halloween surprise and tickets to Thriller!  I was so excited.  It was a blast, we had awesome seats and the dancers were really amazing this year.  A Halloween show was the BEST way to celebrate!  Of course we had to finish Halloween by dressing up.  Bryce was the ever-famous

Gumby, but this year Gumby dressed up as work-out Gumby.  I, of course, wore my awesome tutu and Pay just happen to have all the accessories for a bumble bee.  Dream come true!

 

What a fun Halloween!  Happy Halloween to everyone!

We surpassed the one year anniversary of my Dad's motorcycle accident while I was in the Utah.  What a crazy year it has been for him and our family.  Four surgerys, 4 titanium plates, about forty screws, weeks and weeks in and out of the hostipal and months of absoultley no weight on his left leg - HE IS WALKING!!  Not only is he walking, but apparently he is now the poster child for Mountain Star.  You always wonder who those people on the billboard (or bus) are.  Well, that's my dad (and his doctor).

What a MONTH!!  I had such a great time with my family and friends and so glad everyone is healthy.  Love Utah - but now it's time to go home.