This Day 2 Years Ago

There are moments that you will never forget. Moments when just for a second your world stops. The surroundings and the feelings you have in that second are forever burned into your brain. We all have them. This day. 2 years ago. I will never forget.

I remember a call from my Mom, it was early Saturday morning. She was surprised I answered - for years I had been religious about my early Saturday morning workout- but this morning was different. When my alarm went off I ignored it. She sounded nervous, her voice shook, my Mom is never like this. Immediately I knew something wasn't right. She said simple phrases like, "There has been an accident", "Ashley", "You better get down here". I remember sitting on the phone in silence. I processed. I said nothing. Then asked the question I knew she didn't want to answer, "But Mom, she's going to be fine...right?" This time she sat in silence. There is not a moment in your life that prepares you to give this kind of news. She spoke, "I don't think so, Amber. Not this time."

I held the phone in one hand and with the other I ripped off the covers I had been so tightly wrapped up in 5 minutes prior. I literally jumped out of bed and ran across the room. What was I doing? I had no idea. I asked a hundred questions, she answered them the best she could. Then she said, "You better just get down here, we don't have very long." I am sure I muttered something she could barely understand about how I was on my way and how much I loved her. We hung up.

I remember turning and looking at myself in the mirror, wondering what just happened. I walked into my closet and looked around confused while images of Ashley went through my head. Then "go mode" set in. I had never dressed so quickly in my life. I threw clothes in a bag and ran out of the house. As soon as I was on the road the panic came. I needed to talk. I called a few friends - no one answered. I drove fast. Maybe I needed this second alone with my thoughts anyway.

I didn't make it, she passed away before I got there.

The next few days were a whirlwind of family and friends. There were hugs and kisses. I'm sorry's and I love you's, tears, flowers, memories, pictures, laughs, and more tears. There were too many words and then not enough. There was an insurmountable amount of support. Family and friends flew thousands of miles. People brought meals and gifts. They shared memories and words of encouragement. I was amazed by the kindness and love we felt, and still feel. Thank you for that.

The whirlwind stopped and the dust settled, but the loss didn't. My oldest brother has lost his oldest daughter, my parents a grandchild, my nieces and nephews lost their sister, my youngest brother lost his best friend and I lost a niece close enough to be my sister.

Her playfulness, happy attitude and love for my clothes will never be forgotten. Her spontaneity and ability to live in the here and now will forever be missed. Her non-judgemental outlook and love for everyone is an inspiration and her memories will be with us always. I don't think a day has passed in the last 2 years that my heart hasn't ached to see Ashley. The pain has brought our family closer. I know how badly our family needed her here, but God must have needed her even more. How exciting will be the day when we finally see her again.

This day. These memories. This amazing girl. I will never forget.

Christmas Love 2008

Christmas is such a fun season. I remember the days when Nate and I used to wake up at 3 or 4am and beg our parents to let us go out and see what Santa had brought. Our parents always spent the month reminding us of the true reason for the season while giving us opportunities to see and help others in need. As we have gotten older the only thing changing is the time that Nate and I make it out to the front room as each year we sleep longer.

We had such a fun Christmas Day this year, but the days leading up to Christmas were equally as fun. My mom doesn't love to shop so I love the days during Christmas that I get to spend shopping with her. Luckily she hadn't finished all her shopping before I made it to Utah so we got to spend a few days braving the crowds together!

On Christmas morning we woke up as usual and opened presents.
My dad was so excited to get a windshield and top for his razor. He is making it his new hobby to make the razor street legal so he can drive it down to the local grocery store!
Nate was so proud of Santa for picking out such hip clothes for him! Santa is so insightful!
Mom was really excited for her new wine cabinet, even if it did take us 2 hours to put together! Mom and Dad also got a new camera and this fancy tile!
There is a little background on the blank tile... I had intended on making my parents a tile with a vinyl quote on it that could be displayed. Brad and Tami cut vinyl and while Bryce and Lynn were in Vegas I asked them to bring the vinyl up for me. In transit somehow the vinyl got stuck to the seat and didn't make it to the tile. They mailed another one up, but it didn't make it before I had to wrap presents. I wrapped up the tile without any writing. When my Mom opened it she starred at it for a few seconds and then said, "oohhh, thanks!" She had no idea what was going on! I told her the story and we all had a good laugh. A Christmas miracle came true that day and Bryce brought down the newly arrived vinyl that we were able to add to the tile and display it in the house. The tile now says, "Our feet my leave, but our hearts will always be at home."

Santa brought me a new piano! He brought the piano straight to Oregon, so I wasn't able to play it while I was in Utah. I am sure there will be many more posts to come involving the new piano as I learn to play! I can't wait!!

Nate's new little dog, Valcor, loved playing with all the wrappings from the presents! He loves Christmas!
I was so glad that Bryce was able to brave the inches and inches of snow and spend Christmas day with us. He brought down about 14 billion presents - suprisingly - I didn't get one picture of us opening presents together!
All the neices and nephews made Christmas complete. Everytime I see Alex I am amazed at how much she grows. She is in 8th grade and offically taller than me and looks older by the day!
I love Christmas. What a fun season and day we had. Thank you to everyone and Merry Christmas to all!

Lost

I have pictures I would like to upload and stories I would like to tell. I feel like I am so behind that I don't even know where to start. Most importantly, I can't find the cord that goes to my camera to upload my pictures. This is no surprise really, I was in Utah for 21 days. While I was there I lost my mind (along with my camera cord apparently). It was a wonderful trip full of family and friends, holidays and fun. Of course, I didn't see everyone I should have - so if I missed you, I am truly sorry! I was back and forth from house to house. Everytime I left one place, I would leave something behind - my purse, my camera, my laptop, my shoes, my coat. Maybe I just wanted them to remember me, but these are important things that I would just walk out of the door and forget! See... I lost my mind and then I would have to turn around and get it. I made it back though - I had to leave some heavy Christmas presents and all my new Christmas decorations that I got for next year. But, two 70 lb suitcases, a roller carry-on full of shoes, my laptop and a gym bag full of jewlery and purses all made it back to Oregon. They are sitting in my room, I am not ready to unpack yet. Hopefully when I do I will find my camera cord.

Life Gets Crazy In Utah

I was in Utah for 17 jam-packed days. It was fun and tiring all at the same time. I am so glad that I was able to go and spend time with family and friends. I was especially glad to be able to be with my dad while he recovers. Aside from the 2 previous posts about the game and Rumbi, here are some highlights from the trip.

We went to the Alta/Bingham State Championship football game. It was FREEZING and I thought my toes were going to fall off. Bryce used to play for Alta so it was fun for him to see his old high school win the state championship. Ashley D and I went shopping and 2 hilarious things happened... first while we were trying on shoes Isaac thought he should join in. I think these go perfect with his outfit! Second, we left the mall only to find that Ashley had accidentally locked her keys in the car. This turned into my fault because I had left my coat in the car which had prompted Ashley to lock the doors. Brett (Ashley's husband) had to come rescue us to which he said, "When you two get together do you forget to bring your brains?" Yes, actually I think we did.

I was so excited to be able to go to a Jazz game while I was in town! Bryce and I saw the Jazz kick some booty! This year at the games they are introducing the Jazz starting line up in the dark... It makes it feel like a playoff game mid season! Also, while we were at the Jazz game Bryce insists that I almost got into a fight. But what really happened is 2 of the fans were arguing because one was taking forever to sit down. This young girl in the front was being very rude to the older guy and his wife sitting next to me. After I had heard enough I said, "OK,OK!" Bryce thinks I should have minded my own business, but they didn't say a word after that and I couldn't just sit there and let the young girl be rude!

Thanksgiving was a packed full day of fun! I was able to eat with Bryce and his family and then go to my parents house for dinner. Normally my family celebrates Thanksgiving with my mom's brothers and sister. This year since my dad was still in 'healing stage' we stayed at home. We had a nice quiet dinner, it was a welcomed change for this year. I am really thankful that I was able to spend this time with my family! I wish however, that I would have gotten more pictures than just this one of my mom and I!
The day after Thanksgiving Mandy, Tami and I got up at 5am and went shopping! We found some great deals - well actually Mandy didn't because everything she wanted was sold out! But, we found some fun stuff nonetheless. After the early morning shopping we finished the day at Honk's and Big Lots with Alisha, Jada and Pat. It was a full day of shopping that didn't end until about 8pm! Tami and I had a couple favorite purchases for ourselves. We found these boots and shirts and figured we could buy the same clothes since I live in Oregon and she in Nevada. We found the boots at our first store and wore them the rest of the day!
Bryce was able to have his first Taco Amigo experience. Taco Amigo is a local PG restaurant. I was so excited to eat there that I had it twice while I was in town! Bryce rated it a C+ for the following reasons: Pros - good tortillas, good nacho cheese, good chips, good ice. Cons - dry meat and it's weird to each french fries with tacos. I don't care though, Taco Amigo has an A+ in my book.
We had a rockband party with my friends from high school. Ashley and Casey were so sweet to host us and let me just say that Heidi is a rockband star on the vocals! Even the neighbors 2 blocks away thought so!
The day I left I was able to get together with my college roommates and catch up. It was so fun to see everyone and catch up on their lives - We were just missing Shannon! I am so glad I was able to live with these girls and I love to see them doing so well!
I also have to include this video that I took of Camden right before I left. He was dancing for us. This kid has such a fun personality. No one teaches him his dance moves - this is all Camden!

Thanks everyone for such a fun time!

I'm Coming Home And That Is Awesome!

Just 16 days until I pay 20 extra dollars to get 2 overpacked suitcases onto a plane that will fly me back to a mountain covered desert. I am coming home! I land on Novemember 15th and will be in town until December 2nd. I haven't seen Utah since I left July 10th, about 4 months ago. I can't wait to see my parents, my family and friends, my parents dogs, Brycer, my neices and nephews, the mountains, all the friends little kiddlets, my cute grandparents and lots more. As unimaginable as this sounds, I am excited to see my office and of course my friends from work. I can't wait to eat yummy Thanksgiving food, have Brittney do my hair the Tuesday after I land, watch the Utes kick BYU's booty on the 22nd, go to DownEast, JMR, Fashion Place mall, Gateway Mall, Rumbi and of course drink Chuck-a-rama's water. Needless to say, I am getting a little excited. So start planning now peeps, cause we'll have a crazy-awesome 18 days while I am there!