2 years and 3 months ago I packed my life and moved 800 miles. I didn’t take the time to even think through it fully, I just did it. I’m not spontaneous, I like plans. I had none. The only saving grace was I knew I could come back. I knew if my new ‘home’ didn’t feel right I could come ‘home’. I needed to do this for me. I needed to make it all alone, so I packed.
I don’t think I realized what was happening until Me, Bryce and my packed car crossed the Willamette River as we drove on I-5 through Portland. I remember looking out at the city on my right and the river below, I remember my Mom’s Garmin shouting out directions in the background and I distinctly remember thinking “No, wait. Turn around. I've changed my mind.” I didn’t say it though, I just sat there I couldn’t turn back now. We made it to my new place, an empty two bedroom apartment in the basement of a lovely house. The view from my deck was incredible, the rooms were gigantic, I wondered how I would fill all the space.
Shannon and Dan helped us move my stuff in and the first weekend felt like a vacation. Then, life started. I cried every night for a week. I wondered if this was really the best decision for me. I knew it was. I adjusted. I bought my first couches. I decorated.
Last week I packed my home. Along with getting married, Ben and I decided to move across the river to Washington, closer to his office. I am excited to marry Ben, to live in the cute house with him, I am excited for the change. But when it came time to pack my apartment, the only place I had ever lived in Oregon, I stalled. I couldn’t picture life outside of this place I didn’t know where to start packing and every time I thought of leaving my eyes would fill with tears. With Ben’s help I packed it. With Shannon, Dan, Tim, Deneal and Ben’s help we moved it. With Jody and Ben’s help we cleaned it. Last Friday I walked through it, everything was gone. It was spic and span, just how I found it. I turned it back to the owners. Before I left, I stood there all alone in the place that was once my home. A tear rolled down my cheek as I thought about the memories and the changes I had made there. It seems silly to be so attached to a place that was never really mine, but I will forever be grateful for the person I became there. I will miss my home, my late night TV bed watching, my empty fridge and taking up every closet in the house with my clothes, but it’s time to move on.
I’m glad I didn’t turn around when we originally crossed the Willamette, I am glad I stayed and made a life. Now we’re going back across the river, no Garmin needed. Plus, you’re going to love our new place. Life is changing people.
