Eye hate waiting

Remember the freaky bump that popped out of my eye 2 years ago and had me positive I would soon be picking out a wooden eye? (If you missed it, you can read my old posts here).

Well.... He's back!  Remember when I said how important sunglasses are?  I must have forgotten.  About 2 weeks ago, while I was in Utah for Christmas,  the bump came back.  At first it didn't alarm me knowing it had happened before and knowing the previous doctor said it could inflame again if it was irritated.  I committed to going to the doctor when I got home. 

Well here I am a week after I arriving in Oregon, appointment scheduled for Friday the 15th and officially terrified out of my mind (again) that it's something new that will take over my entire eye.  Saturday after an awesome workout a few people from the gym went to lunch.  A conversation started with one of our trainers about a condition she has in her eye.  She has a rare eye cancer that she has treated with chemo and dry ice every couple years.  Literally in the middle of the conversation I thought I might have a panic attack wondering if I have the same thing and thinking how amazingly positive she is.   I had her look at my eye and heard the words I was REALLY hoping wouldn't come out of her mouth, "Yeah, that's how mine started."

Fabulous. Now I wait for Friday.

Dear 2010,

Let's start this year, also this decade, off right by telling 2010 exactly what I expect out of it.  I mean you can't be disappointed if you haven't set expectations, right?

2010, here is what I need from you -

1. I would like to ask that you use special care when it comes to my feelings.  Heaven knows I am an emotional shopper and since I have decided not to shop this year, I need you to take it easy.
2. I plan on running a marathon in May.  I should stop saying planning on it and just say, I am running a marathon in May since I already paid too much to the man to map out a 26- mile run of death.  2010, I am not sure how you can help with this, but figure it out cause I need help.
3. I need to schedule a really awesome vacation.  That is an expectation that is non negotiable so let's get on that.
4. I would like to make a quilt this year.  If that one turns out well, maybe I will make another.  Yes, that sounds fun.
5. I need to organize my shoes. I have been thinking about this for a year and a half now.  Let's just do it already!!
6. Shannon is going to have a baby... so I would like to put in a request to you, 2010, to take it easy on her as well.

I think that's all I have right now, so there it is... expectations have been set.  Happy New Year!

Introducing...

Alright, here is goes.  I am starting a new blog, a supplement to this blog, not a replacement.  My new blog with follow my year long challenge of no shopping...
I was hoping to be further along on the design and personal content before I wrote this post, but I just didn't make it!  With that said and understanding that the design will probably change a few more times, check out my new blog!  http://www.lifewithoutshopping.com/... and wish me luck!! :-)

At Christmas Time

Right now it's snowing my favorite snow.  The perfect Utah dry snow that sparkles in the sun as it falls through the sky then lands on the ground snowflake still intact.  It crunches under your feet as you walk, but don't walk through it!!  It ruins the smooth almost magical palate.  As a little girl I used to go crazy when people would walk through our front yard and ruin the beautiful snow dusted landscape.  I would insist that we play in the back yard or a friend's yard as if the snow was a piece of art created just for me (see my craziness started young). Growing up in Utah I remember very few Christmas's without snow, a few with so much snow we couldn't even leave the house and many perfect Christmas days with the sun shining and the snow sparkling.

2009... hasn't it been quite the year? Good and bad; we have seen, felt and lived through it.  As we find ourselves only hours before the Christmas holiday, as we prepare for friends and family and the celebration of the season I hope we remember the true meaning of the holiday.  I hope we remember the gift of Christmas isn't wrapped up in presents. The gift of Christmas is Jesus Christ.  Oh how grateful I am for Jesus Christ, his life, his service, his example.  

Wishing you a safe a very happy Christmas! (...whether you have snow or not).

The Falls are Frozen!

For the last couple weeks Oregonians have been enjoying beautiful blue skies and FREEZING temperatures!  Oh boy do I love winter clothes, but winter temperatures... no thank you! 

The temperature dropped so much that Multnomah Falls froze!  When Deneal and I heard this news, we thought that was a sight that we could not miss.  Saturday, after a CRAZY new workout which may or may not be discussed later, Deneal and I thought we better hurry and see the frozen water before the constant threat of valley snow actually came to pass and the city shut down.

Now, let's discuss this adventure. Not once did it cross my mind the kind of seriously freezing temperatures it would take to freeze a 620 foot waterfall.  You see, that same day the Columbia River Gorge (where the falls are located) was experiencing an Oregon mistlike rain. Putting all this together, one may have come to the conclusion that those same freezing temperatures may also freeze this mist that has fallen on the roads and all walkways.  But NOT US!

About 15 miles from the falls driving on 1-84 we were stopped by cops as they cleared a 7 car crash.  We wondered to each other how this happened as we passed the scene hoping that everyone was ok.  Minutes later my car began sliding into the left lane, back to the right and into the left again. Black ice had gotten us the best of us - tricky! If you know Deneal or I, you are now thinking... I bet they were screaming while telling each other the best way to stop the sliding.  In fact, it was quite the opposite.  I did my best to correct the sliding and slow the car, Deneal calmly told me she was going to put my car in neutral.  We ended up back in our lane sucessfully avoiding any car crash!  Woo!  The rest of the trip happened at about 35 mph with hazard lights.  Finally we made it to the falls - it was incredible! We even slipped and slid our way to the bridge in the middle for a closer look.

Originally we had planned to have lunch at the falls, but after we froze our buns off and given the close call on the way out, we decided we had better get back as soon as possible.  We arrived home safe and sound - disaster adverted, adventure totally worth it!  The snow still has not arrived, but the sun is gone, the rain is here and the temperature back up!  Happy Winter!

That's what I love about words

A year and a half ago I put this quote on my blog.  I found it, I loved it and I was amazed how easily I related to it.  Now, every once in a while, I will be going through files on my computer, run across it again and be awed at how true the simple words are.  That's what I love about writing - nothing in this quote is a profound discovery, yet when the words are put together they stir something inside that makes me think.

"A couple of hundred years ago, Benjamin Franklin shared with the world the secret of his success. Never leave that till tomorrow, he said, which you can do today. This is the man who discovered electricity. You think more people would listen to what he had to say. I don't know why we put things off, but if I had to guess, I'd have to say it has a lot to do with fear. Fear of failure, fear of rejection, sometimes the fear is just of making a decision, because what if you're wrong? What if you're making a mistake you can't undo? The early bird catches the worm. A stitch in time saves nine. He who hesitates is lost. We can't pretend we hadn't been told. We've all heard the proverbs, heard the philosophers, heard our grandparents warning us about wasted time, heard the damn poets urging us to seize the day. Still sometimes we have to see for ourselves. We have to make our own mistakes. We have to learn our own lessons. We have to sweep today's possibility under tomorrow's rug until we can't anymore. Until we finally understand for ourselves what Benjamin Franklin really meant. That knowing is better than wondering, that waking is better than sleeping, and even the biggest failure, even the worst, beat the hell out of never trying."  Grey's Anatomy

It makes me hope that I am saying and doing the things that are true to me, because even if I fail, at least I am giving myself an opportunity to try.  And if choose I learn, a failure won't have been in vain because every experience should allow me a chance to grow.

What I really meant to say...

A conversation in my head, the perfect response that didn’t put itself together fast enough, the things I wanted to say, but for some reason just didn’t. This happens to me day after day. Sometimes because I have to be politically correct, sometimes because I don’t want to make another feel bad and sometimes because I am just plain scared if I say what I am really thinking I might get a response I am not prepared for.

To the man who asked for spare change -
When you watched me walk by you I wondered what you were doing. When you asked me for spare change and I gave you the loose dollars in my wallet and wished you well. What I really meant to say is, “Are a couple dollars enough, where are you from, where are you going – what’s your story?” But I didn’t dare, maybe I was scared of what I would hear.

To the person who works (who will remain nameless) -
When you told me you were mad at me because now you would have to work the weekend I said, “I am sorry about that, I know how you feel and it’s a crazy time of year.” What I really meant to say was,” I have worked almost every weekend for the last 4 months. I work at 1am and 3am and then again at 6am.” I don’t feel sorry for you, you have a job, suck it up.

To the really cute girl working in the Anthropologie dressing room -
When you asked me to show you the dress I tried on, you shrieked because you loved it. I know because I loved it too. When I handed you the pile of clothes that didn’t make the cut and turned to walk away with my two items you asked, “are you sure?” I replied, “I wish I could get it all.” What I really meant to say was, “I will take it all! In fact, wrap up one of my size of everything in the store. Why not, right, you only live once I may as well look cute in clothes that are way too expensive!” But, I will keep dreaming.

To the 7-11 man -
You watch me come into your store multiple times per week. I get a vanilla diet coke and you don’t even tell me the total anymore because I would have to be a complete idiot to not have it memorized. You’re very kind and always tell me thank you in your broken English. I say, "thanks and see you later". What I really mean to say is, “The visit to this 7-11 that perfectly mixes the vanilla is this diet coke is a highlight of my day. Better yet, the sunshine in an Oregon winter and a perfect treat. So, NO, thank YOU.” But I don’t, because I would sound insane.

I guess we hold back for a reason, but oh how interesting if I said what I really wanted to say...